As Twenty Eleven draws itself to a close, I find myself with time to ponder what the year has heaped upon myself and those I hold dear. Truthfully, in this time of chaos and craziness around the globe, I have had the most stable seeming year in over a decade. I moved from a teeny apartment into a house a little over a year ago, and right from the get go it was a lot to chew financially and was not without drama, but it was also amazingly normal seeming, considering all the elements. I lost my best friend in February. Nothing happened to her, she just decided we weren't friends anymore. Which was hard, but also just odd. I think I spent a good deal of time confused, and to get myself on track I threw myself into building (and maintaining, which is hard for an Aries flake like myself) the Other Blog, and working on getting my quilts noticed. I have mostly succeeded, while not in the ways I intended. I think that whole thing about doors closing so that new doors can open fits in right about here.
I have read lots about how 2012 is the Big One. All sorts of things, from alien invasion to Mayan shifts of dimension have landed in my inbox, and made for one giant "?". I have questioned as a homeschooling mom of two which things to explain to my kids and which to pass over to keep their kid years intact. I heard my eight year old at a Christmas party explaining to the other kids how the government is making big mistakes and selling our country to the highest bidder, so I know he has been paying more attention than I thought to various discussions, but all in all things are in pretty good shape around here as far as outlooks go. I think knowing the storm is coming helps to batten down the hatches a bit. I think this world is finally getting the wake up call it has needed for a very long time. Just like my friend throwing me for a loop, and the chaos opening new doors, I am confident that this crazy time will have a good outcome eventually. It helps to be aware of the process. I keep telling myself that I am an adult now, and I can handle it. LOL.
Some crazy things are happening. My stable home is shifting, I can feel it... while at the same time I have an old flame that is being rekindled. I have been trying hard to ignore it and put it back in the box I had shelved it in, but it just keeps letting it's presence be known. I'm not sure if the timing is convenient, but it definitely lends some interest to the situation. And somehow makes things that should be unhappy a bit more fun. And while I feel financially strapped to a sinking ship (just like everyone else) I am seeing some of the bonds that I had gotten used to finally slip away. Again, totally unsure of how it's going to work itself out, but freedom of a sort has to be a good step forward, right?
This Christmas I was lucky enough to stay at a friend's house and experience a family life very much like what I think I want. Very simple, very loving and very inspired. They have trials and they have "stuff" like we all do, but there is a feeling there that everyone is loved and respected. And I think that is the direction it is time to go in. For myself, for my family, and for us all. It's time to ask for, and allow, love and respect for ourselves and each other. It's actually super easy to do. It's one of those things that really does come back to you if you give it.
So here's to 2012! To throwing the doors wide open and welcoming the change instead of cringing away from it. To spending as much time as possible with friends and family and looking out for each other. To staying strong and standing up for one another. To believing in ourselves and knowing that we deserve better. Not bigger and shinier, but better. Less, more... that sort of thing. Happy Epic New Year everyone :)
