Sunday Thoughts... A Bit Early. For Good Reason.

As Twenty Eleven draws itself to a close, I find myself with time to ponder what the year has heaped upon myself and those I hold dear. Truthfully, in this time of chaos and craziness around the globe, I have had the most stable seeming year in over a decade. I moved from a teeny apartment into a house a little over a year ago, and right from the get go it was a lot to chew financially and was not without drama, but it was also amazingly normal seeming, considering all the elements. I lost my best friend in February. Nothing happened to her, she just decided we weren't friends anymore. Which was hard, but also just odd. I think I spent a good deal of time confused, and to get myself on track I threw myself into building (and maintaining, which is hard for an Aries flake like myself) the Other Blog, and working on getting my quilts noticed. I have mostly succeeded, while not in the ways I intended. I think that whole thing about doors closing so that new doors can open fits  in right about here.

I have read lots about how 2012 is the Big One. All sorts of things, from alien invasion to Mayan shifts of dimension have landed in my inbox, and made for one giant "?". I have questioned as a homeschooling mom of two which things to explain to my kids and which to pass over to keep their kid years intact. I heard my eight year old at a Christmas party explaining to the other kids how the government is making big mistakes and selling our country to the highest bidder, so I know he has been paying more attention than I thought to various discussions, but all in all things are in pretty good shape around here as far as outlooks go. I think knowing the storm is coming helps to batten down the hatches a bit. I think this world is finally getting the wake up call it has needed for a very long time. Just like my friend throwing me for a loop, and the chaos opening new doors, I am confident that this crazy time will have a good outcome eventually. It helps to be aware of the process. I keep telling myself that I am an adult now, and I can handle it. LOL.

Some crazy things are happening. My stable home is shifting, I can feel it... while at the same time I have an old flame that is being rekindled. I have been trying hard to ignore it and put it back in the box I had shelved it in, but it just keeps letting it's presence be known. I'm not sure if the timing is convenient, but it definitely lends some interest to the situation. And somehow makes things that should be unhappy a bit more fun. And while I feel financially strapped to a sinking ship (just like everyone else) I am seeing some of the bonds that I had gotten used to finally slip away. Again, totally unsure of how it's going to work itself out, but freedom of a sort has to be a good step forward, right?

This Christmas I was lucky enough to stay at a friend's house and experience a family life very much like what I think I want. Very simple, very loving and very inspired. They have trials and they have "stuff" like we all do, but there is a feeling there that everyone is loved and respected. And I think that is the direction it is time to go in. For myself, for my family, and for us all. It's time to ask for, and allow, love and respect for ourselves and each other. It's actually super easy to do. It's one of those things that really does come back to you if you give it.

So here's to 2012! To throwing the doors wide open and welcoming the change instead of cringing away from it. To spending as much time as possible with friends and family and looking out for each other. To staying strong and standing up for one another. To believing in ourselves and knowing that we deserve better. Not bigger and shinier, but better. Less, more... that sort of thing. Happy Epic New Year everyone :)

Sunday Thoughts: Working Together is Awesome

Awhile ago I finished up a couple of very lengthy and head-banging-up-against-the-proverbial-wall frustrating photo shoots for the other blog. I started with the ideas ages ago, and it was a one thing after another situation where I was trying to make things work the way I wanted them to without the proper resources. I can be difficult that way :) I live in a small town where time moves very slowly and people's priorities are very different than those living in the rat race (read we don't stress the small stuff as much). Normally this is so not an issue for me. But when I try to take the thing that I used to do as a city girl and translate it to the "today me" there are some funny things that come up. Like, say, impatience. I realized that what I needed was a good team.

Heather's eldest daughter, Skye

It happened in a very haphazard and organic way but I found a group that consisted of a few brilliant vendors and a few general keeners. Good balance. The photographer Heather, is pulling together pieces of her portfolio that are outside her comfort zone, and could have been a disaster to work with. She is really sweet and lovely on a day to day basis, but those can sometimes be the people who come out of their nice and into their nasty when you try to work together on unfamiliar territory.  Turns out that not only is she brilliant, but that her daughters all make great models as well :)

The goodie makers are a British couple, Becca and Stephen, who had their mother (in law) staying with them for two weeks from the UK and the first (pink) photo shoot was literally the last day of her visit, so... well... yeah. Tension. But the making of gorgeous and incredibly yummy confections turned out to be therapeutic maybe, because they came through with flying colours... pink, white and red to be exact :) They also helped set a gorgeous table and save my precious belongings when the sky opened up and poured rain down on all of the antique and vintage treasures. (Thank you for carrying the mirror, Stephen!)

the pink shoot

the all soul's shoot

The florist I had never met in person, face to face. She and I have used Facebook (of course) to hash out details and I have never done such good business with somebody that way before. This girl is uber talented and a total sweetheart! When I say talented, I mean the conversation for the second shoot went a bit like this. "I am thinking of doing a kind of goth but not creepy photoshoot of a wedding, but not a real wedding that will be mostly shot in the graveyard AND my garden, and it may be gray and red, or purple and ivory... or both... can you do flowers for that?" And she came up with exactly the perfect thing.

The models were one of those "laugh later" situations. It took me forever to decide on the perfect bride for the first shoot, who then disappeared the day before without a trace (she moved house and couldn't contact us without phone or internet we found out later) so we nixed the bride entirely... which kind of makes the tie in with a wedding blog... er... difficult. When I couldn't get hold of her for her dress fitting, I panicked.

Again, enter Facebook. A woman my mother works with sent me a friend request while I was trolling through my list of people trying to find a replacement. I remembered seeing her with her daughters at the library and asked if she thought they might want to model... They loved the idea, but being eleven at night, it seemed a bit far fetched to start dress fittings in the morning when we were supposed to be doing setup. So they became models for the second shoot...

The pink (still brideless) shoot was all on schedule. The morning of, I called to confirm the wee models... and their mother had been called into work. Ugh. Two of the girls were the photographer's daughters, so I knew we had at least two, but two does not a fabulous tea party make. We went to our location with fingers crossed that the backups we had called in would show up. Somehow, not only did Kate (the mom of the original four girls) show up with her sweet brood of angels, but she also stepped in to be the bride! And what a gorgeous bride she turned out to be :)

There were other small trials (super last minute change of local, major thunderstorm, etc.), well, not so small... but I think this list pretty much describes what I am getting at here. The bottom line is that despite all the drama, stress and eye-rolling, we are ALL happy... more than happy... with how all of the photos turned out. More than that though, the experience of both (well, all three in truth) shoots were all in all positive experiences for everyone involved. Even for the girls that had to spend "an eternity" out in the rain laying on gravestones at dusk in the cold... we all got more out of it than we expected and are all such suckers for punishment that we are willing to do it again. Which means that there may have even been an element of fun in some of it, right? We have found a team that works well together, and asking people who wouldn't necessarily be the first people you would think of, for help... we have all discovered some great raw talent. It has been a great experience for me to realize that sometimes all you have to do is dig a wee bit deeper to find what you are looking for!

If you are interested in how everything turned out and haven't seen them yet, the shoots are here :)
Playing Dressup... (the PINK wee lasses shoot)
After Playing Dressup (the PINK bride shoot)
Not Quite Goth (All Soul's Engagement)
Not Quite Goth (All Soul's Wedding)

Sunday Thoughts: Counting Our Blessings...

A few years ago, I visited the Li'l Bee's blog often and one day noticed a pretty button on her sidebar. It took a while before I had "enough time" to click on the "Nie" button and when I did it was because it was so pretty. I had seen references on other blogs, but as I was not familiar with NieNie's blog it rang no bell. What I found was the inspiring story of a young couple who survived a tragic airplane crash over Thanksgiving weekend. This story might have crossed your path as it was picked up in news and media all across North America. It is a story that reminds us of how very lucky those of us who do not live with daily struggles due to injury, illness etc. are. Sometimes we need a reminder.

I only recently gained access again to a computer. It's not mine, it's his. Mine still hasn't been decided on, because I am lame like that and since I now have this one to fall back on, I am hesitant to put my coin into the wrong equipment. I spent most of this year without a computer which is a bit like having an arm cut off if you use blogging as a form of therapy... but I found that I had much to focus on. More than anything over the past months I have been reminded of how blessed I am to live the life that I do with my family and friends in such a gorgeous and bountiful place. And how lucky I am to have two children to watch grow and learn from.

Around Thanksgiving that year (in Cananda we celebrate in October,) I added the little Nie Recovery box to my own site. I am not familiar with Nie Nie's blog as most of her followers were, but I am more than familiar with how tragedy can alter your life. I almost lost my (then two year old) son six years ago as he fell off my sister's deck over twelve feet onto cement and fractured the back of his skull. The doctors told me in the hospital that if he made it there would almost certainly be brain damage. When all you want is to see your baby survive, you don't really stop to consider what the implications of brain damage could be, nor do you have it in you to plan for those changes.

It took over five hours for the local hospital to stabilize him enough that we could be airlifted to the Children's Hospital in Calgary. The paramedic that picked him up had to use a piece of scrap lumber to strap him to when they arrived because they didn't know if his neck was broken and the brace they had was too big. At the hospital, I watched them rip into box after box looking for the right sized whatchamits to use because he was so young and they had only youth and adult supplies on hand. As a result, his trachea was damaged when they intubated him. One of the nurses held his head absolutely still for hours while sitting in a squat position, but wouldn't let anyone relieve him until they had absolutely determined that his neck wasn't broken in case it moved while they switched places. I sat helplessly and watched while they did everything they could to save my baby.

And they did. Regardless of being severely underfunded, under-equipped, understaffed, overworked and exhausted, they made a miracle happen. Rowan made a complete recovery. He went right back to being the boisterous, loving and theatrical child he was before the accident and most people would never see that anything had happened, but something very important did. We all got to see firsthand what is truly important in life. Everyone involved was witness to what a miracle it can be to have so many people pull together in honour of one life and to truly cherish what we have through those we love. Thankfully not everyone needs to live through a tragedy to realize how lucky they are. So often we focus on what we think we need to keep us happy but in the process we neglect or put off what is truly important, thinking that it will always be there to appreciate when we find the time.

This past summer, I have not had the luxury of sitting at my desk filing away pretty photos to create new posts. What I have been able to do though is to refresh my understanding that in the end, what truly makes a house a home is the quality of life being lived inside. Since Rowan's accident I can honestly say that not a day goes by where I don't stop and think about how lucky we all are for what we have, as well as the capacity for understanding the enormity of it all. At such a chaotic and unstable time in many of our lives with the current state of affairs, politics and the economy, and simply day to day frustrations, let's all take the time to count our own blessings, and send our love and hope to those who have even more to struggle with, even if we never meet them.

Sunday Thoughts: iLonely

iPod. iPad. iPhone. Has the world of techno-connectivity that seems to be symbolized by the humble lower-case "i" done more than just create a media iCon? For sure Apple / Mac is not responsible for the Age of Information's addiction to tech savvy connesseurism of tools and gadgets that are so "easy to use" that I'm sure more than one toddler has phoned Japan while their parent has unloaded groceries at the checkout. Absolutely our dependence on Facebook is not solely because it is the easiest way to re-connect with those we love when Friday night shenanigans result in another "I lost my phone- everyone send me your #!!" scenario. Our adoration for apps is not entirely the fault of the Apple store whose fabulously sleek interface has revolutionized the way our culture views media marketing.

I am the Apple girl in my family. Having dated a statistically significant number of geeks over two decades has taught me that Macs are superior. Period. Go ahead... argue. Won't make a difference, nobody else has swayed me yet. But strangely, while my uber plugged in sister still totes a PC in her stylin' laptop case, it is she that is the Apple poster child. Her ears have sported the buds of every Pod the wee letter "i" has been a part of. She was the first person to show me the bazillion reasons there were for me* to jump on the Smartphone bandwagon.

*Regular readers will know that I am still sans mobile and am possibly the only person in North America who is still land line dependent. In fact, I am waiting to chance upon a vintage rotary in a great colour, which should suitably confuse and frustrate my family. 

Li'l Sis is the demographic that Apple has coveted since it made the horrific and near fatal error of ignoring the concept of home computing  way back in the day. They played catch up for years before one of their more briliant marketing teamsters came up wtih the concept that would change the name of the game forever. Sexy. iPods are not small and convenient listening devices, they are crazy unique dance moves to indie tunes you have never heard before but know you should love. iPhones are not a way to enjoy the wonders of mobile communication, they are a way to let the world know who you are via rainbow hued cases, jeweled bling and wicked cool ringtones. And PC vs. Mac started it all by turning geekdom covetable with a campaign that imprinted on us the idea of computer-tech-network-engineer-graphic-artist-webmaster-hacker types being infinitely cool and mightier than thou.

These days, the more wired you are, the higher up the ladder you seem because chances are, you are one of the first to see it tweeted that Beyonce is preggers and that Miss Kardashian is over a foot shorter than her basketball playing hubby. And we all know that knowledge is power! Yes, in a rush to keep up with the "Joneses" of the digital age, we have immersed ourselves in a gloried display of how important "i" can be. It is a time to celebrate your unique attitude, style and sparkly contribution to society and show the world via cute txt lingo how fabulous you truly are.

But what about the "we"?

No, not the Wii (Nintendo's answer to unhealthy closeted gamers is to create quality family time playing "team sports" in front of the telly, of course) ... I am talking about real, actual, person to person communication using only the tools we used for all the centuries before this one. Our ears and our mouths. Julian Treasure has taken it upon himself to study the dying art of listening. He points out that the louder our world gets, the more distracted we are and the more removed from healthy society we become. I recently spoke to an old friend from high school that said since returning from life in Thailand, he has noticed a vast disconnection in North American society. That striking up a conversation with somebody is near impossible what with having to interrupt their texting or iPod listening.

People these days are busy even in their downtime, and our brains are becoming so overloaded with non-information that we simply have very little room left for the things that are... or should be... important. Politics, education, daily interaction... family... all are taking a backseat to a glossy new interface that we are mistaking for life. I notice this every day walking down the street with my four year old. I live in a small town (pop. 10 000) and when my now eight year old was wee, he spent most of his time out of the house chatting up anyone who would give him the time of day. Which was on average, pretty much everyone. The bus, the grocery store, the park... nobody was exempt from his tales of what was his favourite new toy or book. That was four years ago, and today, when my second tries in vain to converse with the people we run into on our walk downtown, he is mostly blocked by earbuds or a qwerty pad... and the most he receives is a polite but uninterested nod. Most of the time he is ignored completely. Now I am of course biased because I think everyone should drop what they are doing and indulge my son in conversation, but I was raised to not interrupt people and to give them their space and that is now the lesson learned in repetition. It isn't hard to see the difference though. Even without a degree in Humanitarian Studies, or whatever area it is that studies the effects of human interaction on the psyche, I can tell you how unhealthy this all is. Perhaps if I didn't take personal offense via my child, I wouldn't notice. But then, when we see more and more relationships being "built" on bank accounts and boob jobs, perhaps the art of social interaction is something that should be paid more attention to.

Maybe. Just a thought.

Sunday Thoughts: The Way of the Budgie

I am fascinated by the psychology of marketing. This is paradoxical as I am also completely against a consumerism based culture. Which is ironic in that I write both a blog about things and stuff, as well as a blog revolving around the wedding industry which is relatively redundant in a modern society where the church no longer rules and girls are not the property of her father but is rather an industry based on charging obscene amounts for unneccessaries we have been taught since Barbiehood that we truly must desire to be happy. Right. I digress.

I am passionate about the creative process. My world has always revolved around creating in some form or another. I am unsure where it comes from as my family and friends growing up, while supportive of the arts, were not devoting much of themselves to creative pursuits. I was taught that money was not only important as a means to getting by, but also as a demonstration of who you were. Thankfully I was also taught values and interests that won out and cleared another path for me, however economically unviable it may be :)

A couple of years ago I took a marketing class that focused on branding and how to translate your business into print and various areas of advertising. I spent the last bit of the class trying to explain to the instructor how I was searching for a name that was simple and organic without sounding too organic. The thing about living in the Kootenays is that it is very easy to be pegged as what I like to refer to as a "budgie"... those who try to live simply, shun pop culture for the most part, and eat a rather "seed" based or natural diet. We have a high per capita tofu consuming population and to use the word organic in Nelson is to pigeonhole yourself beyond redemption. Once you are labelled budgie, your abilities in the business side of town are much hindered. It's a small town.

So before we even got to the actual name figuring we had to debate the demographic being feathered or otherwise and then came the part where I had to stand by the concept of people paying at least $80 for a pillow. As I myself find this strange to a certain degree, I tried in vain to explain that when certain people see good design they will pay what you charge. I have to admit though that there is a fair amount of frustration in knowing that those people are not the majority of Nelson's populace. We are a young, hip and vibrant town, but that energy comes from all the starving artists out there. If you want to make a living in this town as an artist, you have to find a way to do it remotely. I think "the world is your oyster" is a phrase that we creative types are clinging to in an attempt to convince ourselves that as long as we have access to the WWW, we will be just fine.  But at the same time, our values are finally returning to us and we are being hit with the question "If an overabundance of stuff and whatnots is such a huge part of what is wrong with the world today, then why am I trying to make a living by making more stuff?"

The handmade movement is such a greatly empowering entity. It allows the minority to be part of the equation. Single moms can try to make a living from home, students can supplement with part time, non invasive work and artisans are feeling that their skills might again be worth something. The lure of "cheap" and "mass produced" are no longer holding the sway they once did. Our economy in the toilet means that the higher ups are paying attention to details that they never would have in better economic climates. We are all standing tall while we steamroll the "Made in China" system. Yay us! But then, how do we make the right choices in choosing what to make? I often see people get down off their soapbox after a particularly brilliant schpiel about living simply so others can simply live... only to take up a needle and thread to sew more pretty stuffies and coffee cup sleeves. How big is our scope, exactly?

More and more I am seeing that the way of doing things is changing whether we are ready, aware, involved... or not. I am finding more people who are making huge changes in their lives. Not simply changing their light bulbs to CFCs, or upping their blue box capacity... but digging up their front yards to garden and tossing their cable subscription. Choosing not to drive, buying less... educating through leading by example. In a world where Disney rules and toothpaste brands are fighting over the rights to sell mint tooth cleaner with the top rated cartoon face, maybe the best bet for everyone is to worry less about the bottom line and think more on the common denomenators. Community, health, love and understanding... imagination and play... support and caring and selflessness. Maybe trading in the second car for more quality time via fewer soccer camps. Eating dinner at the table with healthy conversation is worth more and says more about the family than the cottage at the lake, or the size of the toybox.

Let's get back to making quality, dependable and beautiful necessities and work hard at trimming the excess. If less is considered to be "needed" then people will eventually learn that it's not about saving a buck, but putting that buck where it counts... and that buying something to last, maybe even to pass down through the generations, is in fact better than the "convenience" of disposable anything. Make less and get paid what you are worth. It sounds easy. Let's make it so.

Sunday Thoughts: Simplicity...

 Someday I will be this woman...

Yasmina Rossi

...sitting on this swing.

Sunday Thoughts... Ummmmm

It's Sunday.

I'm supposed to have thoughts on Sunday. Today is the day that I have the time to actually sit down and write something stimulating and thought provoking. Ummmmm... well, I s'pose I could write about how wonderful it has been to finally have both sunshine AND a yard to work in at the same time... but that pretty much sums that thought up. How about the free headboard that I got this week to play with (photos of before and after when my camera is working again)... oh, wait... can't really turn that into a post without photos, can I? Hmmmm...

I am having an "I Love My Life" week, can I share? This is me remembering that it is the little things that make life worthwhile :)

This is the view from the top onto my town.

I got an unexpected call this week from my sister (who does not have kids and hence lives a completely different lifestyle- read: waking and sleeping schedule- than I do and we don't hang together nearly as often as we once did...). She took the boys and I on a hike. WITH her! My sister is the kind of person who wears yoga pants when she doesn't do yoga and calls Mountain Equipment Co-op "MEC". We know we are related because everyone says we have the same nose, and you simply cannot duplicate this nose... but aside from that... well, different cloth indeed. So when she wakes me up from a lovely sleep to tell me what a glorious day it is to hike up the side of a mountain... yeah. Not so much. BUT my number one DS asked me really nicely if we could do that hike again soon (the last time may or may not have been two years ago...) just a couple of days before, and I had said yes. I said yes because the chances of getting that phone call were so slim... perhaps they are conspiring.

Kazillions of yellow mountain lilies.

Turns out said mountain was a lovely place to be. Sis picked us up and took us by her place to make sure we had a protein shake before our ascent, then we spent a few hours in the perfect cool morning weather putting one foot in front of the other... about the time I started to feel my legs buckling, I noticed my first budding wildflower, then a wild strawberry flower, then some stunning chartreuse lichen... and all the toil melted away. The top of the rock was utterly blanketed in sunshine yellow lilies, and pink something or others... and the boys were on cloud nine... above it by the time we reached the top I think. Definitely a worthwhile day and I remember now how much I like being outdoors... sometimes I need a gentle reminder... yes, even living here in the Koots.

Sunday Thoughts: What Does "Home" Mean To You?

 Many years ago, when I decided that life would be more interesting if I surrounded myself with eccentrics (OK, my life has been filled with them, but this was more of a conscious decision,) I moved to Nelson to hang out with artists. I have always been into that romantic notion that less is more and that the starving artist has so much to offer in the terms of character building etc... Yes, well I have since decided that the starving part has to go, but in those years I learned an awful lot.

Container City made of re-purposed shipping containers that are abandoned because it costs more to ship them back overseas empty than to make new ones.

At one point I dated a guy who was... extraordinarily interesting. He was also borderline crazy, but in that way that many geniuses are. Where they have put all their mental eggs into the intellectual part of their being and not many into the social graces basket. He was my first lesson in living with almost nothing. I had previously been a social princess who preferred the company of those in the extravagant fashion industry. He preferred the company of people who had left the rat race for their own race and he spent most of his time starting shelters and food kitchens when in the bigger cities, so he felt resentful being stuck in a tiny town such as Nelson where his small son lived. We would often take hitch hiking trips out to the larger cities and I would see him become this (more) amazing person when surrounded by streetkids. We would stay up with them all night in the parks talking about things like politics, art, culture... Not the things that society associates generally with street people, but that was the lesson. Those of us still in the rat race miss out on a lot. Also not something I would recommend unless you are with a person that can outcrazy them on any count and that you know can protect you if necessary.

Water Tank from Infomab

It was one of the best things that has ever happened to me because you really cannot understand what it is like to be in those shoes till you have been that close. It is also my firm belief that one cannot gain an absolute appreciation of what they have till they have experienced having nothing. And honestly, sometimes I saw very clearly how these people, in a lot of ways, had so much more. However, the part where people live without basic needs in a country where there is more than enough to go around is deplorable. It really shouldn't be that way and there are people who are trying to find ways to change it.

This is one man's idea for a homeless shelter. It has a toilet, solar shower, water catching system, a kitchen, desk and sleeping area. The two doors when opened were designed to pin on art wares for sale.

Of course, as with most progressive thinking, it comes down to red tape. The government and it's agencies are not on board with actually eradicating homelessness and while the problem continues to grow exponentially around the world, it is the richest countries whose governments do the least. It is up to society to push for intervention as well as to put an end to the notion that the homeless are there because they want to be and that it is simply a waste of time to help them. Hopelessness is an easy feeling to come by when everything has been taken from you. It is not a feeling that is easy to rid yourself of and even less so when the world looks down at you. Anyone who has ever felt failure, a math test, a parenting issue, not getting a promotion at work, if you have had that feeling during a time when you tried your hardest then it should not be a stretch to understand where these people are coming from. And if you continue to try and you get nowhere, how long does it take before you feel hopeless?

The test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members.~Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973)

Pallet House

 I think the big move to make affordable housing a reality is stemming from the fact that so many people are realizing that they are only one paycheck away from being homeless. It is happening all over the continent from the economic crisis and all over the world as a result of the earthquakes, floods and hurricanes. It is totally bizarre that after years of this we still haven't come up with a viable solution that has been acceptably implemented. Studies show that it is the impoverished that are the first to step up to help the people who lose everything. It makes sense because it is a reality for them. But it is unfortunate that there are still so many that don't understand how real the issue is.

A Vancouver project by Emily Carr students.

 I have been lucky enough to see both sides of the fence, and truthfully, I am undecided which side has greener grass. I would like to think that there is a happy medium where we can all live with a smaller footprint, help each other build stronger communities and find a way to integrate systems where we can think outside of our society's box and give everyone a way to live a healthier and more productive life. The projects in these photos from around the world are just a few examples of how it is more than possible if we just check our issues at the door and put in a bit of effort. I know it seems overwhelming in the broad scope of things to see the forest for the trees, but homelessness is an issue that does affect every one of us and society as a whole. If the only thing you do is change the way you perceive the situation, it is a step in the right direction.

If you know of a way to effectively help, or of a project that is working, feel free to leave it in the comments!